When Father is not a Father

"Man shall protect and take full care of a woman with the bounties which God has bestowed more abundantly than the latter" (Al Quran, Al Nisa, verse 34)".

  This injunction implies physical maintenance and protection of women as a matter of moral obligation and responsibilities. While living in a patriarchal society where men are assigned as the head of the family. He neglects and mutilates God's commandments. Though, we are heading towards progress yet we are not over with this male hegemony and a false sense of superiority.

Our culture promotes male dominance:

   As there is a misconception that religion gives rise to conservatism. This is a false idea. This is the culture that bring about inheritance of social vice. Here in Pakistan I would say, the social structure and conservatism are inherited from pre-partition culture. The intra-culture exchange makes permeable, to absorb one culture rites into another. When people having different beliefs live together for hundreds of years they influence each other. Same happened with our Pakistani society. Hindus still treat woman as a subordinate. They used to incarnate woman too with the death of her husband which is called 'Satti', still, their culture and religion are marked by their extremist conservatism. It's a despicable fact that some of the vices seeped into our social system too. One of them is subjugating the female.

Who made a woman weak:

       This is the era of social media and freedom of speech yet females are still confronting male dominance. A Muslim culture is epitome of parity and gender equality. Man is not a ruler and woman is not his subject, she is not his property and  he is the custodian. Man has taken undue advantage of the vulnerability of the weaker sex. To me, the main reason for her frailty is owing to her father who couldn't cherish and valued her and didn't perform the role of fatherhood. He remained mute. Since her birth, she sees discrimination between her brother and herself. She has been told to accept this because she is a female. Her brother has been given more attention and affection. 

      Then household income made the father prioritize education facilities for his son over his daughter. If she gets into the school it is not of that quality from where her brother is acquiring education. So her nature and nurture made her accept this discrimination. When she goes for higher studies she is extra burdened with protecting herself for the sake of family respect. No courtship is acceptable as it can cause a defame. The son is allowed to have even adulterous relationship but the daughter is not allowed and if she does so the consequences can result in severe chastisement; either she has to get rid of by marrying any available man or she has to quit her education. Her father doesn't regard her sentiments, her emotions are an integral part of human growth. She has to pent up her feelings.

Psychological collapse destroys her:

This matter doesn't end up here but after her wedding, she condones the oppression of her in-laws and her husband too. Without objection, she tolerates it because she has no support from her father on her back. Domestic violence e, mental torture, and emotional distress are vicious consequences. Can such a person make a home happy? Can she up ring the positive children in such circumstances? How can she contribute to making a nation progressive and vital? Such a situation leads to the disintegration of the family.

         The primary reason was that her father was not there when she was facing the backlash from other member of society. When I talk about woman emancipation I strongly believe that it is impossible to prevail ,unless a man stands by the side of a woman. A woman is reflection of her family. She gets strength from her parents. The dilemma is that the father himself unaware of the pivotal role he has to play in the life of his daughter. Or he never realized the importance of this frail creature who always looks back at him in the time of trouble.

Start Training your Son for future:

     The mothers, out there who are reading my post should train their sons to be better brothers and better fathers.  eeffectively they can build a positive relationship with a woman. Thus, the foundation of infallible empire of a house can be established. From the beginning, we must train our children to treat and to be treated by sense of equality should prevail. So that she stands out with confidence and faces the world with a high head.

Sadia Nawaz